Running your own business is the best and worst thing you could ever do.
The flexibility and autonomy are unmatched. I am able to accept the kind of clients I want, mold my business to be the business I want to have, and work when I want to.
I feel such a sense of freedom knowing that I have control of every aspect of my job – from the type of client I want to go after, to how much I charge, to what I want my business to look like. If Mike gets job in another city in a few years, I don’t have to look for a new job – I can take my business with me. I can scale back or grow my business as my life circumstances allow. The variety of my work is fantastic and I get a thrill every time I land a client. I’ve mentioned before how fascinating my clients are, and how much I enjoy the direct contact with them.
And most incredible of all is that I love this. In the first job I have after college, my coworkers used to read books all the time on the business and leadership and I never understood why they would to that. I want to read books I want to read in my free time, I’d think, not books that make me feel like I’m still working.
Now, most what I read is related to my business. I want to learn more about being a better designer, a better business person, a better support to my clients. And so I actually look forward to consuming knowledge about how I can improve myself and my business.
I also feel a sense of control and potential for growth. I like the idea of having a ‘lifestyle business’ that enables me to be present to my family while still pursuing my passions (and, uh, earning money. Let’s not underscore that important fact of any job). I am thankful that these opportunities exist. That I can easily chat with clients around the globe and have designed websites for clients on three different continents. It really is incredible.
On the flip side, my work is never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever done.
Ever.
In college, I felt guilty relaxing on Sunday night, since there was always something I should have been doing for school. I could never shake the pressing, vague feeling of, “Shouldn’t you be doing more?”
It worked well for my grades, but not so well for my ability to blow off schoolwork.
It follows, then, that my mind behaves similarly with my work: “You should be working. You promised Client X she’d have her proofs tomorrow. Your blog hasn’t been updated in a week. You should be marketing. You should create a profile of your ideal client. You should add a new page to your website. You should read more about how to price your services. You should….”
I am the least workaholic person I know, or at least, I was. Working for myself made me a workaholic.
Worse, it makes me a bad wife
Mike has remarked how much of my ‘free time’ is consumed with work, and it’s true. Most nights, he wants to watch a movie or TV show and I turn him down in favor of working on a pressing project. I tell him (and myself) that my business is still young, still experiencing growing pains and requiring an intense amount of attention.
“It will get better,” I insist, “I will be able to work less once I’m more established.”
Still, the fact that I love my work enough to become a workaholic means I love my work. Which is sort of cool. I’ve never felt this excited about a job, and I’m sure a large part of it is the flexibility.
There are other really hard things about working for yourself (no sick days, no paid vacation, no health insurance or retirement), but honestly (and embarrassingly) the hardest of all is that I have no days where I can just play around on the internet and have someone pay me for it like I would at many offices. (I know, my work ethic is embarrassing. Stop judging.)
I am completely and fully responsible for what I do with my time, and I am the only one who loses out when I dink around on the internet, blog hopping or Twitter rubbernecking. No one else is there to peek over my shoulder and see what I’m doing.
There is no ‘coast’ option. There is always something to do, more than just showing up and I’m either all in each day – designing, landing new clients, taking care of business, or my business fails.
It’s up to me and I wouldn’t have it any other way – warts and all.
Well, maybe I’d have more office mates. I like coworkers.
Walks in the middle of the day with these two. File under: “Perks of Working from Home.”
Melissa says
I think it takes a certain person to be able to work for themselves, and you’ve been doing SO well for yourself! I mean honestly, you need a lot of discipline to be like “Okay, I’m going to do this design instead of chill & watch a movie”… especially working from home, it can’t always be easy to turn down those fun things that are lying all around you! It shows how motivated you are and how much you really do love what you do. Good for you for pursuing what you love most & constantly learning how to improve your work! That’s an awesome thing :D
Ashley // Our Little Apartment says
Thanks, Melissa. :) I appreciate your support and kind words!
Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks says
Don’t you have Gabe duties during the day? Which means, if you’re attempting to get a full workday in, of course your work will spill into your evening if you’re spending part of your day with him (and Mike)! I think it’s really amazing that you work for yourself doing something you love. It’s what many of us wish we could do.
Brianna says
My boyfriend recently started his own business that has to do with graphic design and ads about six months ago and he is always working on something for it at home even though he has his own office. We will be in the middle of watching a movie and he will jump up and go to his computer because he forgot to email someone ect…
But I know in the end all this work is going to benefit both of us and I am super proud!
Ashley // Our Little Apartment says
Exactly! You can never really leave your office. Good luck to your boyfriend! :)
Amber says
I used to think I wanted to work for myself but I’m not so sure anymore. I did a lot of freelancing about a year ago and balancing that along with my full-time job was hard!! I do think it’s pretty amazing that you really, really love what you do though to the point where you’re devouring all the knowledge you can get about it! Congrats on building up such a successful business, Ashley :)
Rachel (at) It's a Hero says
I like your honesty + insight into working for yourself. I know that some of the Etsy shops I frequent have Monday through Friday, 8 am to 5 pm business hours. And while that may slow down the production timeframe, I have nothing but respect for the work-for-yourself people who set normal, business working hours in an effort to keep “business” time separate from “personal” time. :)
Amanda says
I always thought I’d like to be my own boss, but after freelancing for the past year or so, I’ve realized that it is so not my calling :) I have crazy respect for those who go after their own businesses hard! It’s amazing to love what you do, and I’ve realized I just love doing it with other people more.
Ashlie says
Ahh! Gabe is getting so tall! I have to tell you, that I am just trying to follow directions right now from a blog that I purchased off Etsy, and it’s challenging! I give you so much credit for just designing blogs out of the blue! It’s hard! It’s super fun, but I have directions, and it’s not even working out! So props to you! It’s awesome that you have your family right there, and can take a break whenever you want!