The phrase self-care always turned me off a little, probably because sometimes I scoff at things too much for silly reasons. I don’t know why I felt like it was too hippy-dippy-peace-love-flowers-and-warm-fuzzy-feelings. It is actually a rather pragmatic and level-headed idea – make sure you take care of yourself and you will be a happier, kinder, more enjoyable-to-be-around person.
Simple, right? It’s not that I’m the kind of person who puts everyone else first, it’s just that I’m the kind of person who gets overwhelmed and lets my life get insane as result. I’ve felt quite overwhelmed lately. Today, I even made a list of all the ways I am failing.
Yesterday, I went for a walk with Gabe in the afternoon and my soul felt soothed by the sunshine, breezes, and fresh air. It’s hard to remember how great it is to go for a walk when all you can think is, “I’m too busy to go for a walk! I have no time! Stress!”
Once I stopped being a jerk about the idea of self-care and realized it had some real merit and was more than just a gimmick, I made a list of ways I could practice self-care. I listed things that gave me energy, life, and joy (hippy dippy, ahoy!) and that would be concrete actions I could do in my day-to-day life. So, as much as I’d love to put, “Visit the beach” on my list, it’s not easy to do on a whim when you live in Ohio.
Here is my list:
– Read one or two chapters of fiction a day. I was having a tough time getting started on my latest book because I kept wanting to have an hour of time to read. My reality right now is that I don’t have an hour of time to read each day, but can make time to read a chapter of a book.
– Prepare my lunch, clean out the French press, and set out my outfit for the next day. Mornings go MUCH more smoothly when I don’t have to worry about these little things. If I wake up late, I can still get out in a timely matter because everything is ready to go.
– Make time for a clean house. It doesn’t have to be spotless 24/7, but a clean, decluttered home is hugely, hugely important to me. I always say I’d rather get rid of stuff than organize stuff. Case in point: I have felt suffocated by our apartment lately and couldn’t put my finger on it. I boxed up lots of Gabe’s toys and books that were littering the living room and suddenly our apartment is delightful again.
– Go for a walk. Get outside. It has been 60s and 70s lately. This is the most wonderful time of the year. But even breathing fresh air in the winter is refreshing. (For, like, 10 seconds.)
– Bake or cook. The resulting mess leads to stress, but the act of preparing food makes me very, very happy.
– Get in bed by 10:30 pm and spend 30 minutes before bed NOT in front of a screen.
– Refrain from engaging political debates on social media. Also, bashing the opponent.
– Spend time alone. Right now, this is my commute and going for runs.
– Spend time with the people I love doing quality things. Conversation, eating, tickling Gabe while he collapses into giggles, etc.
– Drink tea.
– Make time to blog.
– Learn something new. I am convinced that learning new things is essential for life. My life, at least. Learning how to pitch myself, more website coding, how to compost, etc.
I don’t do all of these things every day, but if I remember to do a few of self-care items each day instead of my usual method of eating olives for dinner and curling into a ball, I am more likely to stay sane and weather the storms of overwhelm currently besieging my life.
Amen.
I love this list! Inspiring, lady.
Amen to all ESPECIALLY political debates on social media. I might have to unplug soon to avoid reading it!
I’ve been trying to practice more “self-care” lately, though in my case, it’s more of “oops, the entire plane is going down, I’d better get my own oxygen mask on first” – because you can’t take care of anyone else if you’re out of commission.
I like the idea of making a list. Think I’ll try one with just a couple of items on it, and see how it goes.
I honestly think about the oxygen mask thing all the time. It’s such an effective analogy for life.
It seems to me that self-care activities can be smaller if they are more frequent. When I really neglect my own legitimate needs, it takes a *bigger* thing to fix me. Do you find that to be true, too?
The “avoiding screens before bedtime” thing is so important. I swear my sleep is crap when I go straight to bed after being on the computer or something.
So important. I read every night at 9:00 and my 3 kids all know better than to bother me during “me time!” I also prepare my work lunch the night before when I am packing school lunches for my children. I set out my vitamins, get the Keurig ready etc all the night before as well since it makes for smoother mornings! I also try to make time for the little things that I overlook when I am stressed, like taking the kids to feed the ducks or get out the sidewalk chalk…things that only take 10 minutes but make the whole day seem more fun!
Wow. Great tips!
i love ALL of these ideas :) Especially the decluttering (which I really am awful at but love when i actually get around to it), and the time before bed not in front of a screen. :) :)
I think self-care is paramount for everyone. I think where it differs is how much time you need for yourself could be dramatically different than how much time I need for myself. I reset when I spend time with my family … for some people, they reset only when they have moments away from their family. Figuring out what it takes to re-energize yourself is a really important step, which you’ve clearly done. So, I don’t do very well when our house is in a state of disarray (i.e., the past 2 years of my life, thank you very much people who give too much stuff to Gavin). Just the other day, I was thinking I absolutely must get rid of some of his toys … we still have rattles and play things from when he was a few months old and don’t have a need nor the room for it. My goal is to get it done sometime in the next month or so.
I love this post! It’s so important. In teaching (and tons of jobs) there’s so much pressure to work/do and I have learned that self-care has to come above a lot of things if I’m going to be able to care for others.
Learn something new is one of my four simple goals! : ) Let us meet up and learn something new together; he he he.
I shared your feelings about self care too, until I became a mom. Even then it took a while for me to realize that I need to do just a few things for me, and that it is actually FOR my family! They like me much better (and shocker, I like them better too) when I take a few minutes to take a bath, or read a chapter, or breathe outside air, like you say. I still need a reminder of this regularly though, thanks for the post.
What a list! I second you on so many of those. It may be weird, but one of my favorite things to do is drive through the local bbq place for fifty cent iced tea and sit in the parking lot and read. That recharges me like nothing else! We call it ‘going for solitude.’
What a good post to remind yourself (and us readers) of the simplicity of self care! Even if it only takes 15 minutes, it can really make or break our day.
Thanks for the encouragement!
I definitely feel better when I spend a little bit of time outside. I don’t know why it always seems so hard to make that happen. Outdoors! All the way on the OTHER SIDE of the door!
Love this list and we seriously have so many overlaps it makes me happy. I cannot wait until it cools down and I can start to bake more regularly again, I truly miss it.