How far along? 30 weeks.
How big is baby? Almost 16 inches and 3 lbs (Gabe asks me DAILY how big the baby is now. I usually just gesture around my stomach and shrug, ‘Like, this big.’)
Total weight gain: +20 lbs. Continuing to outpace my pregnant-with-Gabe self by several pounds.
Updates: I’m getting bigger, the baby is getting bigger, and I’m working as much as I can. Also, I started going to the chiropractor, which seems to have really helped my back and hip pain, along with taking baths and icing the areas in pain. (My left hip pain was so debilitating I could hardly walk at one point. You’d think if we were made to carry babies, our bodies wouldn’t fall apart trying to do it.)
Anxious about: I talked to my doctor about birth stuff last week and it was a pretty discouraging conversation. I just don’t think we see eye-to-eye, as much as I like her as a person and trust her as a medical professional. Part of the problem is that I’ll be at a big teaching hospital this time, so no more baby-friendly hospital that encourages water birth instead of wondering “why would anyone want to do that*.” *actual thing my OB said about having a baby in water. To me. After I told her Gabe was born in water. I just have to decide how much it matters that she’s not going to be my Ideal Birth Person and just say, “Screw it, I’ve done this before, I’ll be fine.” or if I should find someone else at this point. It’s not even that I am set on having this baby in water or without drugs! It’s just that I want to feel in control of the birth and not like it’s happening to me and someone else is making the decisions for me. At this point, this all feels like one more stress I have to worry about and I just can’t deal. So I’m ignoring it all.
Excited about: Gabe meeting the baby. The baby meeting Gabe. Seeing if the baby looks like Gabe did when he was a newborn. Gabe told me tonight, “When I see the baby, he will ask, ‘Is that my brudder?’ and I will say, ‘Yes!'” He’s just so excited about being a “big brudder.”
Feeling: Relatively good – just the aches and the not sleeping. It’s hard to clean up because bending over is difficult, which makes me feel frustrated with the State of the Mess. If I had all the money in the world, I would hire housekeepers for my entire pregnancy (first half when I was too sick, second half when I was too large) and the newborn months.
Exercise: It’s gloriously nice outside, so I’ve been able to walk Gabe to preschool once a week (2 miles feels like a long walk these days). Still doing 20 minutes of prenatal yoga every few days to help with the hip and back issues.
Sleep: Still terrible. I had a tiny breakdown last night when Gabe woke up at 3 am to come into our room. I just can’t imagine dealing with a newborn on top of a roaming 3-year-old in the middle of the night. I need sleep and everything falls apart when I don’t get it. Mike is awesome and lets me sleep in most mornings (since I’m usually up with insomnia or peeing several times a night).
Movement: It feels like my organs are fighting each other sometimes. A crazy mover and shaker. I can feel definite body parts like feet, a back, and a butt. It’s so wild.
Food cravings: Water, iced tea, popsicles – I’m just always thirsty.
Misc:
- I’m starting to wonder if having a baby in the middle of summer will be hard on my body image. Because I’ll be rocking that jiggly postpartum body right at the time when I’m usually wanting to be in as little clothing as possible. On top of postpartum hormones. It could be a recipe for disaster, but hopefully I can just strap the baby to me and no one will notice the rest of me?
- Tonight I was sitting with Gabe in the rocking chair reading him books while the baby wiggled around inside me, when I thought, “This feels so much like when Gabe was a fetus…” Then I was hit with a bizarre where-has-time-gone feeling, because that fetus is now singing me songs he learned at preschool and picking his favorite books off his bookshelf and OMG SERIOUSLY WHERE HAS TIME GONE. I don’t feel sad about it, just flabbergasted that four years have gone by. I mean, they’ve been good ones. I’ve quit three jobs, rebranded as Little Leaf, ran two half marathons, and visited a bunch of places including New York City, Toronto, Palm Springs, Myrtle Beach, Hawaii, Asheville, Atlanta, Puerto Rico, and Chicago. Not to mention enjoyed more laughter and heart-swelling joy than I ever imagined was possible. It’s been a nearly perfect four years – it’s just that it feels like yesterday I was pregnant with Gabe.
- Can someone tell me where this baby is going to grow the next 10 weeks? Because I just can’t imagine my stomach protruding anymore.
Oh my, I feel the same, I am 31 weeks so only one week ahead of you and I feel huge :)
Although I never though about my post body size, I just think it will all go away with birth and breastfeeding, I am just positive my extra 18 pounds (so far!) will melt away in baby, water and milk!
I love reading your updates and it is like chatting with my other pregnant friend (I have other 2 due in June!). Thanks for sharing, we are all so different and the same in so many things, yay for babies and growing bellies!
That time thing is crazy. We took Margaret to kindergarten roundup last night and as I walked in with this huge about-to-pop belly I absolutely could not believe this was my third child. How is the first one going to kindergarten? Wasn’t it yesterday I was about to give birth to HER? How is it possible I’m going to have THREE kids?
oh ashley, i’m sorry about the provider issue :( that really stinks, esp since the last thing any 31wk pregnant mama wants is more stress about impending birth! b/c its like you said, “It’s just that I want to feel in control of the birth and not like it’s happening to me and someone else is making the decisions for me” – it doesn’t matter how you choose to birth, its your birth!, but the part about *you* doing the choosing is a big deal :(
apparently, she’s never taken a warm bath while having PMS/menstrual cramps. since you know, most people think that feels nice :-p
the negative aside, i have those “ohmigosh where has the time gone” moments all the time, pregnant or not. I’ll look at my six year old’s hands and just be flabbergasted by how BIG they are – they used to be so tiny and they’re turning into man hands. or how my 3yr old used to not be three…. i miss not three lol and i’m not sad about it either, b/c upward and onward, and more babies will come, its just….. hard to wrap my head around the changes, ya know?
So sorry to hear about your doctor experiences. I’m going to a midwife connected with a large teaching hospital. They allow laboring in their birthing tubs, but they don’t allow birthing in them, which makes me sad. I will take what I can get, though! Thankfully my midwife is amazing. The only bad thing about the practice is that I won’t necessarily have her for my birth, because they rotate. I’m going to get to know the others in the coming months.
I can’t believe you only have 10 weeks to go!!
Bummer about your doctor sounding a bit disrespectful about your birthing wishes. If I were in your shoes, I’d ask myself this: Will I regret giving birth in an environment where giving birth (or even just laboring) in a tub is not even a remote possibility and I’m surrounded by people who expect me to take the drugs, regardless of what my personal preference is? If your answer is yes or if thinking about that kind of environment makes you uncomfortable, then maybe you do need to research other options. And, if you do wind up making a change, your current doctor should respect that – she should want patients who respect her opinion and approach just as much as she (should) respect her patient’s birth plans.
I’m sorry you are having trouble with your doctor. I gave birth at a teaching hospital, but I felt like they were respectful of different wishes… though I admit mine were mostly in line with what I think they would recommend. They were definitely willing to support natural labor and tubs… though I believe they didn’t allow birth in them? It’s definitely worth looking into other places, but I can see why it would be a little scary to switch this late in the game.
The good news is, you look great AND Gabe is going to be such an adorable big brother!
You look FABULOUS lady! I am so, so glad that the chiropractor is helping with your hip pain!
I just wanted to say how sorry I am that your provider doesn’t quite see eye to eye. Good luck with your decision about them. Of course I’ll ask if you’ve thought of hiring a doula. We end up being that person who keeps the space for YOUR birth and advocates for you to be in control of the choices, especially when your provider may not totally be on board. Just something to think about maybe! Even if you’ve done this before and have family support, we can still help YOU be in charge! I wish your provider was more supportive of your desires AND your story.
I am so excited for you Ashley. Really. Thanks for sharing your journey.
I love the concept of doulas, but the process of FINDING a doula that is a good fit (I mean, she’ll see me in LABOR) is so daunting and seems like a lot of work at time when I’m already overwhelmed with all I have to do! BUT my aunt just told me about her great doula that I am going to look into!
I’m pretty sure that if anyone gives you grief or looks at you cross-eyed about a) how you want to birth YOUR baby with YOUR body they should be junk punched. Also, the same goes for anyone who would give you a hard time about as few clothes as possible during the summer after just having carried and birthed a baby. It’s a beautiful thing and bodies of all shapes and sizes and post-baby-conditions should be welcome to be who they are. Just saying. And now I’ll get off my soapbox.
Also: this means it’s been FOUR YEARS since we went to Indy and you were carrying Gabe and holy heck where does the time go!? That’s just crazy. And also leads me to this: four years without seeing your lovely face is just far too long.
Hi Ashley, just wondering what prenatal yoga you do? Do you do a class online or just your own practice? I’ve been doing the ‘What to Expect when you’re expecting’ 10 min class but I’d like to try others. Love your blog :)
Hi Amy! During my pregnancy with my son, I went to a studio for a class and did whatever prenatal yoga was on Netflix (sadly, Netflix no longer has workout videos!). This time, I have this video and do about 20-25 minutes most days. It’s not a vigorous workout at all, but helps in the latter months of pregnancy to align your hips and stretch when your belly is getting so big!
I know this is an older post – but I keep meaning to comment and tell you that I had VERY similar feelings going into the birth of my second. In addition our OB is a family friend so backing out would have been WAY awkward for us. Anyway – two things – one, most of my interactions were with nurses not my doc – and it was a little easier to sway them – two – I talked a lot with Mike about my preferences and he was AWESOME about advocating for me about my wishes. This helped me a lot since I wasn’t very verbal (unless you count screaming as verbal). Praying for you!