* I feel too bold to already be referring to this pregnancy as baby #2. Like, how can I be so confident? But I will take a step of faith and be positive.
So, wow. You guys are the sweetest people ever in the history of the internet.
When I told my family on Thanksgiving that I was pregnant, the first thing my sister said is, “When are you going to tell your blog? We’ve all been crying with you! They’ll be so happy to find out!”
And you guys. You were. The amount of tweets and comments and emails filled with joy and exclamation points really warmed my heart.
Just like with Gabe, I promise I won’t be nonstop pregnancy talk here. But I do want to chat about a few things that I’ve been getting asked about.
How are things different this time?
I’m way sicker and more nervous. I’ve had four ultrasounds already. I am using a home doppler daily to hear the heartbeat. I will probably write an entire post about the experience of being pregnant after losses, but the first month after my positive test was the most anxiety-ridden time of my life. I was an absolute mess. And yes, I’ve been sicker. I had to get a Zofran prescription because I couldn’t stop throwing up many nights (every 30 minutes). But unlike last time, I’m welcomed the nausea because it made me feel pregnant.
I think I’m more cautious this time, in general. I bought some baby clothes to share the news with my parents last time, and pacifiers to tell Mike with the first miscarriage, but I wouldn’t dream of buying anything for the baby yet. I did get some maternity pants on sale (but am returning them because saggy butt. Leggings it is!)
Will you give birth without drugs again??
Gabe’s birth was hands-down the most empowering, amazing, difficult, painful experiences of my life. I hear the second time is often less difficult, but man. It was so hard. I’m not sure what I’ll do. A less-painful birth sounds appealing, but the complications of epidurals inserted wrong (or not working) scares me enough go med-free again.
Are you using midwives again?
We moved an hour away from where I was pregnant with Gabe, so I won’t be giving birth at the same hospital birthing center or with the same midwives. The choices for both are much less abundant in Akron than they were in Cleveland, unfortunately. I kind of fell into seeing my OB for pregnancy when I went in March for my annual visit (first with her) and I was 5 weeks pregnant. They scheduled me for an 8 week appointment, and I actually made an appointment with a midwife for 12 weeks. Well, that ended in miscarriage and she handled it such compassion and skill that I stayed with her since she knew my history. After another miscarriage, she ordered blood work and offered to give me extra ultrasounds or heartbeat checks when I got nervous. So, I’m staying for now! I choose the practice because it’s the only all female-practice in the area. My doctor is all the reasons I went with midwives with Gabe – she’s attentive, spends tons of time with me during appointments, and is incredibly caring and professional. She treats me like an intelligent human who deserves explanations and choices.
I know of a midwife in the area with rave reviews and that takes my insurance – but the extra monitoring at the OB is giving me peace of mind. My doctor stood by my side through both of my miscarriages this year, so I think she’s more inclined to be like, “I know you went through hell, so let’s make this easier.” I might change to the midwife later, after I ask my OB about delivery and interventions.
I’m not as thrilled about the two hospitals I have to choose from, but I figure I’ve done this before, so it’s a little less scary.
I hope you have GIRL!!
Thanks. Although I really hoped to have a girl when I was pregnant with Gabe (and was open about it), I have loved having a little boy so much my heart hurts sometimes. I would absolutely love another little boy. Like, so so so so much. But luckily! I don’t get to choose what sex this baby is. We are toying with the idea of not finding out, because of the “Girl!!!1!” comments we’ve been getting. My family has a LOT of boys. I know that one more boy isn’t special to them, but it is to us. And I think we’d get no comments about having a little boy once he’s actually born, you know? Anyway. After two losses this year, we’ll just be thrilled to have an uneventful anatomy scan.
How is Gabe?
Oh, just amazing. He takes care of me when I’m not feeling good, gets me water or juice or cereal or whatever I ask for. He even stands by me when I was throwing up, rubbing my back. You guys, I just cannot believe how sweet this little boy is. He will ask me, “Mama, can I make you feel better?” or “Mama, I will make the baby happy so you feel better!” He tries so hard to take care of me and is so full of compassion.
He loves to listen to the baby’s heartbeat and help me with the doppler probe on my belly. He talks to the baby and tells me things like, “Mama, the baby likes chocolate milk.” Sweet little Gabe has been there with me at every ultrasound through all three pregnancies this year, and I feel bad that it’s been a rough year on me and he’s seen it. But he is way more resilient than I am.
Of course, he is under the impression that there will be a baby born that can just come right out and play trains. So, that will be an adjustment.
Again, thank you.
You are all so incredibly kind and supportive. You’ve been there for me through the bad and the good. I appreciate more than I can really articulate, but know that I love that you’re taking the time to read these words and care about me (especially all of you lurkers who I know from my past and are all “I’m a stalker” when you tell me you read my blog. ;)).
Tell Gabe he is my hero for taking care of his mom like such a gentleman. All the tears! He is going to be an amazing big brother.
Congrats!!! I agree on the wonderfulness of little boys. Gabe seems extra special and sweet. :)
Wishing you all the best, times a million.
Crying tears of joy with you! Also, you know the pocket friends are going to love that baby regardless of his/her anatomy!
Again so, so happy for you! Though I completely understand the anxiety. At 23w, I’ve only bought two things and that was hard. The intense morning sickness is so reassuring though! I stopped puking at 15w and didn’t feel movement until 18w, so that 3w gap kind of sucked too.
Oh and the girl comments… omg. Everyone guessed and hoped I was having a girl this time and they were right. I would have loved another boy, and I kind of wished for one just so everyone would shut up. Children are such a blessing regardless of the sex.
Congratulations, Ashley! Sending warm and positive thoughts your way for a smooth pregnancy!
I am over the moon excited for you guys. On behalf of the entire internet world: we’re all rooting for you and sending you virtual hugs.
I originally wanted to go with a midwife for this pregnancy, but I’ve been so impressed with my OB and how she’s taken care of me that I decided to stay with her. She gives me tons of time at each appointment, and when something scary happened, she not only stayed in email contact with me, but she called me ON HER DAY OFF to have a 30 minutes conversation with me over the phone, putting my fears to rest. At one point, she asked me if I had any other questions, and I hesitated before saying no. She said “Stacey, I can tell you’re holding something back. I’m here for you – let me put your mind at ease by answering ALL of of your questions.” That right there confirmed for me that I had selected a good doctor. I love to hear stories of other OBs who do the same. They can get a bad rep!
Again, I’m so happy for you. Every time I think about it, I get goosebumps. And Gabe! Talk about a sweetheart. No wonder you’d be overjoyed with another boy. :)
YAY and Congratulations!! So so happy for you and your family!! And my goodness isn’t Gabe just the sweetest :)
I’m so excited for you! Congratulations! I hope you start to feel better soon!
We didn’t find out the sex with my daughter, and it was fun to have that delivery room moment of “It’s a Girl!” However, if we have another baby, I think I would like to find out the sex beforehand, just so I can try it both ways :) If you’d rather not deal with the “so are you hoping for a girl this time?” comments, it might be easier to go ahead and find out, that way it’s only an issue until 18-20 weeks, rather than dealing with it for 40 weeks! Babies are fun no matter what kind of genitals they have! :)
You’re reminding me of when I was pregnant with S (after a miscarriage), and how I had to drag K to all the ultrasounds and appointments and hoopla and how GOOD he was. Kids are amazing. I’m so happy for all of you.
I love Gabe and I really want my son to be just like him. Yes, I realize I have not ever met him but he just seems like such a CARING kid and I just love it.
I also love that you are pregnant and I think a boy or a girl would both be wonderful :)
After I read your post the other night I had a dream one of my friends told me she was pregnant and in my dream I was like THIS HAS BEEN A GREAT DAY, ASHLEY IS PREGNANT AND YOU ARE PREGNANT ha ha.
OK, first of all, Gabe is the sweetest little boy ever! It’s so cute that he takes care of you when you’re not feeling well!
Congrats again on Baby #2. I’m beyond excited for you and your little fam. <3
I’m so glad that you are feeling positive enough to talk a bit more about it.<3 This baby is such a blessing!
After my miscarriages there was always anxiety underneath, basically until they were born. But then–holding them–oh, it was indescribable, the relief and the elation. As much as pregnancy loss made me fear the process while pregnant, I definitely appreciated it more once it was over.
As for the girl vs boy thing… lol, coming from a mostly-boy-baby family myself, and having relatives who were disappointed 3 times, I understand where you're coming from *completely.* All I can tell you is that, if it didn't require pregnancy (HA!), I'd have a fourth boy in a heartbeat. Kids are kids, love is love. :) And Gabe is going to be the best big brother ever!! Siblings can make each other (and you) crazy at times, but mostly it's just awesome.
FWIW, I had all 3 of my boys at Akron General, and had a great experience all 3x. I mean, it's still a hospital, so you do get woken up early when the doctors make their rounds and the nurses have to do the assessments/tests for the baby, but otherwise they were really good about letting me sleep most of the night (pretty much left me alone between 11-6ish), leaving baby with me (which is what I wanted), getting everything done early so I could leave early the next day (again, per my request :), etc. But whichever hospital you go to, I hope you have the same type of great experience!
Here's to a smooth, healthy second trimester! HUGS!
xoxo
Zofran is a miracle drug, in my experience.
Oh, sweet Gabe! That reminds me of myself at his age — I was four years and two months old (exactly) when my brother was born. I was SO EXCITED! But I quickly became very upset that no one had told me that the baby would not immediately begin talking and walking and such. I’d hover around him while he dozed, trying to make him talk.
Oh, Gabe! That just makes me tear up a little. How special is that little one? Goodness.
Again, thrilled, over the moon, excited, all of the above for you and your family! <3
So so so excited for you!!! I really hope everything goes well. When I became pregnant with #2 I was VERY nervous as well – I think it’s because you already have a child and you now KNOW what you might lose out on if something bad happens. No matter what it is, girl or boy!, I wish your family all the best health and happiness in the world!
ahhh this post and the previous one made me ALL KINDS of happy! so, SO excited for you and highly recommend the surprise route…we are loving not knowing :) also–saw your haircut on IG and am loving that! wins all around! :)
I missed this? How? But so happy even so. Its a really tricky thing, what you’re doing. Don’t discount that its just a hard thing, being pregnant after pregnancies that didn’t give you a baby. I will add you to my pregnant friend list. The only piece of miscarriage-preg advice I can give is that don’t miss the joy/specialness of being pregnant by letting apprehension steal it away.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
So happy for you and Congratulations :)
Again, congrats and let me tell you, going the surprise route is amazing! With my 3rd, we already had a boy and a girl so we decided to just be surprised and it was so awesome!