My dear little Gabriel,
Somehow you are going to be an entire year old in about three weeks. I know it’s normal to feel like a year, any year, has gone rather quickly. And as I get older, time only rushes even faster. But this past month, it’s become very apparent that you are in the process of exiting babyhood. Sure, there are boxes and boxes of your old, tiny clothing that no longer fits. And you weaned yourself off swaddling six months ago. And you haven’t wanted to take a nap with me in ages. And you stopped staying in one place half a year ago.
But this month? This month you decided you wanted nothing to do with your beloved pacifiers or, sadly, being rocked to sleep.
I don’t really mind the pacifier bit, since I was always a little worried I’d have to break you of that habit and that it’d be painful. Though, when I see pacifiers littering our nightstands and the floor under your crib, I do feel a little twinge of sadness. Once a staple in our bedtime routine, they’re just relics of the past now. My baby isn’t going to be a baby much longer.
Yes, I sound like a crazy mom. Hopefully I’ll learn to let go and not try to shove a pacifier in your mouth on your college move-in day.
The rocking-you-to-sleep part? Well, Gabe, to be honest, your dad and I are both a little sad that you’re over that. Rocking you to sleep in your bedroom before naps and bedtime has been of the most special, cherished moments of each day for me. I love holding you close and comforting you as you drift off to sleep. I love seeing your eyes get heavier and heavier as your breathing slows down and you nuzzle close to me. I love how you might wake up, but seeing me, you fall right back asleep.
Now, you prefer to nurse, then be plopped right in your crib to fall asleep on your own. You don’t need to be in my arms to do so (in fact, you really don’t want to be in my arms to do so).
Plus, you’re playing with big boy toys and are getting top teeth, despite the fact that I’ve tried to tell you two bottom teeth are perfectly adequate and you need no more. You know how to make us laugh, and love to do so. Goodbye, little baby Gabe. Hello, sweet toddler Gabe.
Thankfully, you seem to be nowhere near walking (my cautious little guy), so at least I’ll see your diapered hiney crawling around our apartment. Again, take your time with the walking. No rush. Stay little, my Gabriel.
Don’t get me wrong, Gabe. I am so grateful and excited to discover more of your personality as you get older. Thankfully, we don’t have to return you after your first year. We still get to keep you. And see you continue to grow, change, and learn daily. And get rewarded with the most beautiful smile I’ve ever, ever seen every single day. That smile, that laughter that causes my heart to flutter. You are truly a joy, little buddy. You bring more joy to my life than I knew was possible to experience.
Thank you.
(But I still miss when you were a peanut. Is that crazy mom-ish?)
Smothering you with hugs and kisses till you push me away,
Mom
Happy 11 months Gabe! And Ashley that does not make you crazy mom-ish, just sentimental! :) I can’t believe he’s almost a year old already!
Oh, how I love these monthly updates. I am usually so excited to see what Gabe is accomplishing, because our little Gavin often achieves the same accomplishments a month or two after Gabe. But, this month? You kind of made me tear up. I’m so not ready for my little baby boy to be a toddler yet. And all the developmental milestones you speak of in this post – well, Gavin is starting to exhibit them, too. Within the last few weeks, he’s changed the way he cuddles with me before going to sleep. No longer will he rest his weary head on my shoulder and nestle his face into the crook of my neck. No, he likes to stretch out on my lap and rarely stays comfortable for long. It totally breaks my heart – those are supposed to be our special moments. I’m not ready for them to end. Alas, with endings come new beginnings. And if Gavin is anything like your Gabe, then I really should be excited for all things to come. Happy almost 1 year, Gabe!!!
Happy 11 months old Gabe! I really enjoy reading how he’s growing and changing. These are going to be some wonderful posts for him to have when he’s older.
aw i can’t believe he is almost one, that is so crazy! and also, this letter is just all sorts of sweet. adore.
I love letter posts like this – I really need to write a letter for Topher! I’ve been thinking lately that it’s easy to remember all of the firsts – but you never know when you’re experiencing a last with your baby. I don’t remember the last time I rocked Topher to sleep, the last time he had a nap with me, even the last time he nursed – and that makes me sad.
I can’t believe he will be a year next month. How is that even possible? This year has gone SO fast. This letter was seriously sweet and I just love that photo.