– I used to think balance was possible, now I believe more that I’m on a giant seesaw. When one part of my life is up, another part is down. When I am somewhat on top of my design schedule and even find time to make myself a vanity page, I’m ignoring Gabe and Mike. When I’m playing with Gabe, I get a phone call and panic, thinking it’s going to be a client wondering where her project is. (It’s not. It’s the dentist. But this just illustrates how crazy paranoid I am about missing deadlines.) Another part of me wonders if perhaps I treated my schedule the same way I treat mess (getting rid of stuff is better than organizing it) and pared down my commitments, I’d be less rushed and overwhelmed. Problem is, there isn’t much left to get rid of. Except, you know, checking Facebook and Twitter every 30 seconds.
– I am training for my first half-marathon at the end of April in Nashville. And by training, I mean, I am running between 3 and 5 miles once a week. Though I’ve run on the snow a few times, once there is no snow on the ground, I’ll run more. I’m partly terrified (13! miles!) and mostly excited to have a goal and a reason to push myself.
– I was reading about a blogger who landed a huge sponsorship opportunity with a car company and I thought, “Wow. That’d be nice” when I realized, dude, I blog about driving less and walking more. Never gonna happen. In fact, most of the companies that sponsor bloggers are ones that wouldn’t really jive with me – I don’t shop at Wal-Mart, I’m an advocate for buying less, I don’t eat meat, and I wash my hair with baking soda and vinegar. I can see it now, Arm & Hammer wants to give me some products to try. Heh.
– When I found out I was pregnant, I was a bit nervous about the fact that Mike was planning to start his PhD around the same time I was due. Nervous because, well, grad school doesn’t pay much (but it does pay; we’re not going into debt for this, thank God), and I wasn’t sure if I would have to go back to work full-time because of it. Everything has worked out so beautifully I can hardly believe it. First, out of the dozen PhD programs Mike applied to, he got into the one that is 20 minutes away from my parents (aka: Gabe’s Tuesday childcare). Second, since Mike is a full-time student, he is actually home much more often than if he had a full-time job. He and Gabe are developing an amazing relationship, and it’s allowed me to work part-time without paying (much) for childcare (I realize that makes it sound like I pay Mike. I don’t. We pay my mom a nominal amount). Finally, the part-time, super flexible job that fell into my lap allows me to schedule when I want to work, and I can contribute some essential income.
I’m very, very happy that we didn’t hold off on having a child until we were in a stable place with our careers and such. Also, I’m absolutely an advocate of having a baby while the dad is a full-time student. I had a friend try to convince me that Mike shouldn’t go to school once we found out we were pregnant. I am so glad we went forward with our plans. Lesson learned: life might surprise you with how awesome it turns out to be.
– I am failing miserably at my February goal – Do one thing at a time. More like, do twelve things a time. I’m so incredibly distractible and impatient and generally just have the attention span of a squirrel that I can’t even wait for a webpage to load without checking my email or some such nonsense. It’s ineffective and, quite honestly, a gigantic embarrassment how crazy I am. I’ve actually started reading a book about slowing down and just reading it has helped me be a little more mindful and intentional about what I’m doing with myself. Last night, I brushed my teeth while doing nothing else. I know, you’re all amazed with my self-restraint. I usually grab a book and read it while brushing my teeth, but after reading a passage about how we don’t allow ourselves to be alone with our thoughts (True. NPR in the car, Hulu while making dinner, etc etc), I figured I’d live on the edge and just get ready for bed.
– I was thinking about getting an iPhone. I don’t have one because data plans are expensive and I am already far, far too addicted to the internet. But, I lost my iPod touch and our GPS broke, so it’d be like killing several birds with one phone (har har). The jury is still out, but I’m incredibly torn. I wonder what my slow down book will have to say about smartphones…
– Mike and I were chatting yesterday and realized we’ve never actually done anything for Valentine’s Day. I tend to think the holiday is better-suited for elementary school students – paper valentines and pink cupcakes and a party at school! – and makes people feel sad about being alone. So, I’ve never really wanted to celebrate it. We usually do something for our anniversary in August, and I mean, really, having a lovey-dovey holiday more than once a year? Is that necessary? Next thing you know, they’ll be telling me I need to be loving to my husband every day or some craziness like that. Anyway, Valentine’s Day is on a Tuesday this year – which is the day we’re all out of the house for 12 hours. Nothing says romance like crashing in bed and watching some Psych, right? (Seriously, though, I am considering doing fondue. That’s Valentinesy, right?)
– Today, I am going to the dentist for the first time in nearly two years (lack of dental insurance). I’m slightly terrified of what they’ll find, since I know I have at least a few cavities. She’ll probably yell at me for not flossing enough, too. And then make me pay for having my teeth tortured.
What are you thinking about this Monday morning?
I like the vanity page. I didn’t know that’s what those were called.
You sound a lot like me (minus the baby). My mind is always in 500 directions. No iPhone here. Can’t justify the monthly internet service plan for a phone, on top of having internet service at home. Over time that adds up to a big chunk of change.
I have just found out I am pregnant (well I found out a while ago and am now 19 weeks but you know what I mean!) and you are my hero! You always seem quite calm and chilled out about everything and always believe things will work out. Myself and Mike (my husband) are quite lucky in that he does earn quite a lot as he works offshore so even though he will be away for 2 weeks at a time he will be at home for a full 2 weeks at a time as well. Unfortunately this will not save us on child care as in Aberdeen you have to pay whether the kid will be there or not. However I will be in the lucky position (about standard for the UK although some people only take 6 or 9 mths as then you stop getting money) that I can take probably a years maternity leave. Anway to get back to my original point I am delighted I am having a baby but panicking about if we can afford this that and the next thing. Reading your blog (and past posts when you were pregnant with Gabe) always calms me down. You prove to me that I can still afford to go on trips when my baby comes along, I can still buy nice things and have a good time with my hubby and friends I just need to be a bit more careful! Also you prove I don’t need to have a big house either you seem to be coping perfectly in your apartment. Anyway anytime you think you are doing to much or not coping, please remember that you are my hero! Take care aileen x
Love the “vanity” page! And I’m glad I’m not the only one failing at my February intention – mine is to be in bed by 10, asleep by 10:30 and I can count on one hand how many times that’s happened this month. Ahh! (I might need to add your slowing down book to my list on goodreads).
This morning I’m thinking about how I need to carve out some serious writing time tonight, and trying to juggle that with going to the gym and helping a friend with resume stuff when she comes over. I’m also amazed at how productive I can be on the weekends but also how quickly they go by when there’s still so much more I need to get done!
Hope the dentist visit goes well. I had insurance with my old job and just never set up an appointment to go. I have insurance again but I’ll have to pay out of pocket for whatever cavities they find (thankfully xrays and the cleaning are covered) since there was a gap in coverage and they won’t pay for those things for 6 whole months. Yikes. Makes me never want to miss a 6 month visit ever again.
I agree with so many things you mentioned.
Life is a balancing act, but it is so difficult to figure out how to balance. Kudos for even tryign to figure it out!
How do people plan on WHEN to have a baby. There is never a perfect moment. No matter what there are going to be things that come in life. I’m glad Gabe’s timing worked out well for you.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE the vanity page.
I hope the dentist is nice to you!
I love that you’re making parenthood work with a full time student, a part time employee and sporadic daycare. There’s never a perfect time for having a kid. We would all like to be making more. Or finished traveling the world. Or have more space. Or be younger and more energetic. Or older and wiser. Blah blah blah. The reality is, if you really want to start a family, you’ll figure out a way to make it work. And the people who tell you otherwise don’t have kids. And if they do, they probably tell you their baby’s $hit don’t smell.
Love your thoughts! I too am realizing how things can work out- I was so worried about finding a part-time job with the new baby, and I did. I remember the morning I got offered the job sitting up with Evie at 5am and crying, thinking “how am I going to leave her for 40 hours per week?” But I was so blessed to get a part time position, and I start on Thursday.
Also, I vote for you getting an iPhone. There might be some selfish motivation there, (ahem, Instagram), but seriously it can make life easier. I can recommend a few time saving apps that may actually give you more time to slow down (I know that sounds impossible, but trust me…)
Last but not least, you are so right about life balance. In my coaching classes we always looked at this “wheel of life” illustration, with different areas on it- family, work, social engagement, hobbies, etc. And our instructor made us pick our top three. It was so hard, but I knew it was just the top three “for the time being”, and that it changes with time. But you are right. We simply can’t have everything perfect all at once. I admire your goal to slow down.
I’m running my first 1/2 in April too! Yay! You’ll do great :) And, don’t feel too bad if you get bad news at the dentist….after switching dentists last summer I found out that I had 7 cavities that needed immediate filling before leaving for Europe. Awesome, right? Two consecutive days of intense mouth numbness. And this makes me seem like I have terrible hygiene but I promise you I don’t! My previous dentist always said I had great, perfect teeth, even when I told him that I suspected a cavity. Thank goodness for that switch.
My dentist said I had FOUR cavities, but great hygiene. The worst part of fillings is the Novocaine, for me. Numb face. Ick!
I LOVE the vanity page!
It’s always fun to do projects for myself. Thanks! :)
I want to read that book about slowing down sooooo badly. I really need to.
I’m going to see The Vow today or “This means War.”
THIS MEANS WAR! Love it. Sounds very valentiney.
just came over from nicole is better! i’m from northeast ohio (rittman, if you’ve ever heard of it) and now live in denver by way of nashville. i ran the country music 1/2 twice and it is the best run – you will love it! yay, adding you to my reader.
Hope the Dentist appointment went well. If it makes you feel better, I had also not gone for a while and am slowly getting my cavities filled. (Lack of dental insurance). So consider yourself lucky these days! :)
Also, my boyfriend and I celebrated Valentines Day last night because we were so busy today and had opposite schedules. We even gave each other our “Valentines gifts” really early. As in a couple weeks early. We bought things that we had been wanting to get but couldn’t bring ourselves to spend the money for no reason. So Valentines Day was reason enough to get the things for each other we have been wanting to get for a while.
I got him a Sushi kit, and he got me one of those massage chair things that you can put on any chair.
Our Sushi kit came with heart shaped sushi. I put up some pictures of everything if anyone would like to see how it turned out. We are still working on getting the taste right, but it was really fun and cute to do together!
Anyways, Happy Valentines Day!
http://ashliekristin.blogspot.com/2012/02/valentines-day.html
Aw, that sounds adorable, Ash! I’ve always wanted to learn how to make sushi. :)
LOVE the new Vanity Page! I’m thinking I’m going to be needing a photographer in the near future, and I’ll definitely be in touch to hire you (if you’re up for it!)! :)
Sometimes I forget that there are still people who don’t have smartphones & aren’t my mother. Haha. Also, I love your vanity page!