I got an email from a reader a few months ago who saw photos from this post with our mini-co-sleeper next to our bed. She wondered how we like the co-sleeper and asked me if we slept with Gabe.
I’ve never written about one of the most important, most favorite parts of Gabe’s early months: Gabe slept in our bed. In fact, Gabe slept nestled in right next to me for six-and-half wonderful months.
Before having a baby, I knew I wanted the baby to be close to me at night – for both peace of mind (lower SIDS rates when babies are in the same room as the parents) and for ease of breastfeeding (not getting out of bed is the best). I also knew, however, that I wouldn’t actually let our baby sleep in bed with us, as I *knew* that was super unsafe. So, we got a co-sleeper – a little bed next to the bed that would allow for easier nights but still be safe, I also checked the Baby Monitor Town which has the most information about baby monitors anywhere, I knew we needed to get one of these monitors. If you want best bedbug pest control service for your little baby room, then you can contact to the Best Pest Control Team / Bed Bug Exterminator In Detroit, Michigan. They provide Amazing Pest & Bed Bug Elimination Service! for your home.
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As babies are wont to do – Gabe threw my plans and expectations out the window almost immediately. He would scream and scream when in his co-sleeper, but fall asleep immediately if I held him in my arms in bed. My sanity told me this meant I should just let him sleep next to me, but my fears told me I absolutely couldn’t do that because my baby would suffocate and die. Similarly protecting from mosquito I used X-pest indoor pest control product. They provide pet friendly pest control product. If your home has a Bed bug infestation, please do not risk spreading it by taking clothes, suitcases or furniture to hotels or the homes of your friends and families. Bed bugs can also migrate to adjoining properties through wall or floor cavities. If your home has Bed bugs and you live in a flat or a terraced property, please be considerate to your neighbours and act promptly. For most reliable bed bug exterminator, you can contact to A1 Bed Bug Exterminator | Rochester Division. As a resident of Buffalo, New York, there is a good chance that you’re going to run into numerous problems from time to time. As you probably realize, you’ll run into a pest problem at some point or another. When that happens, you need to step up to the plate and hit a homerun immediately. If you do not, your bedbug problem is quickly going to escalate and become even far worse. With that being said, you should get in touch with our pest control firm immediately. We serve residents in Buffalo and the surrounding areas. Plus, we are insured and licensed. When you work with us, you’ll get a great service and the results that you so desperately need. Buffalo NY Location | Pest Control & Bed Bug Extermination Experts technicians are thoroughly familiar with Buffalo, so they’ll be able to reach your location and rectify your problem in a hurry. Our bed bug extermination team is always ready to go to work for you.
I was so fraught with anxiety and guilt with several days.
I frantically sent an email to Arwen, ‘Didn’t you co-sleep with your babies?! Is it okay?!,’ who graciously responded quickly and assuredly that she did, it was safe, and that I should trust my motherly instincts. Her experience, combined with reading studies about the safety of co-sleeping (also called sleep-sharing or bed-sharing) and hearing from lots of people I knew who co-slept, settled my nerves. Though, we still rarely told anyone we did it, for fear of being judged as One of Those Parents or being told how we were endangering our child.
Please know that I would never, ever have slept with Gabe if I thought there was even a slight possibility that it would be unsafe or dangerous for him. In fact, it was the opposite for us. At all times, I subconsciously knew exactly where his little body was. It’s a strange phenomenon, I am normally a heavy sleeper, but my body could quite literally sense his body. I cannot even fathom rolling over on him and not realizing. When he was very little, I slept with him in the crook of my elbow, my arm holding him in place. I hardly moved at night. Gabe and I were in the same sleeping pattern, so we’d both slightly wake up, nurse, and fall asleep. As a result, I was never sleep-deprived (recent sleep issues have left me more tired than his newborn days ever did). And, contrary to what some parenting magazines told us would happen, he easily transitioned to his crib when he was six-and-a-half months old.
I realize this is a touchy subject for some people; I’m simply sharing my experiences not to start a debate, but to help with anyone who might struggle with this decision – I did it. It was one of the best parenting decisions I made. We all slept better, my milk supply was boosted, and I got to snuggle my sweet little boy for many nights during a fleeting stage of his life.
Moral of the story: Trust your parenting instincts. Each family is different. Enjoy your baby.
That Arwen is a smart lady, the way you describe her I feel like I know her myself. I am so happy to hear that you can look back on your first year with Gabe and know that you did the right thing for your family!
Thank you for writing about this! I think the more people are educated on co-sleeping the better! We love to co-sleep with our babies…for a long time! :0)
Drew sleeps with us often. Especially when we’re in ND, because there is no other place for him to sleep. And it works. We like it! But he also sleeps in his pack-n-play and loves that. I think you gotta do what you gotta do and what you feel comfortable with.
Have you seen the new Milwaukee ads that show a baby sleeping in a grown-up bed with a knife next to him?
Before baby, I’m not sure how I would’ve reacted if you told me Gabe slept in your bed. I’m not sure I really knew the “dangers.” After baby? I roll my eyes at anyone who gets preachy about family beds. It’s not for everyone, that’s for sure. But, those who choose to sleep with their babies shouldn’t be chastised for making the right choice for their family. For the most part, Gavin slept next to us in a Pack N Play with a basinette attachment. That said, there were plenty of nights (and portions of even more nights) where we pulled Gavin into bed with us. I think it’s AHMAZING that you got to spend six precious months with Gabe in your bed!!
Though I think I would be to paranoid to make that decision myself, (who knows until I am actually in that position to decide) but I think we all should care less about what other people think about us and the decisions we make. So many people make decisions based upon the opinions of others despite what their gut instinct tells them. I think as women, when you feel something in your gut, it will never leave you astray. The only time I regret a guy decision, is when I don’t follow it.
I meant gut decision. Freudian slip? lol
I would say I fall into the camp of not (personally) believing in bed sharing from the horror headlines I’ve heard of (and not having researched either side), however I don’t judge yours or anyone’s choice.
Having said that, I’d like to have tried it even once but my little guy is a very independent sleeper and won’t cuddle in bed for even a moment (unless there are odd circumstances and even then it doesn’t last long). Aside from any safety concerns I have about personally doing it (even if he was a cuddler I might have been too nervous to sleep which would have defeated the purpose for both of us, but not having had the chance, who knows).
I was also anxious our little guy wouldn’t learn how to fall asleep on his own and I didn’t want to encourage him to be too dependent on me to fall asleep.
I think it does boil down to motherly instincts. You could argue I raised my little guy to be an independent sleeper, or you could argue it was his nature to begin with (and no assumptions that everyone’s children here are not also independent sleepers–I was always worried about those worst case scenarios of “won’t fall asleep unless rocked for an hour”, children/stories).
Which again, you could argue the children need that, and parents are only responding to the need, or you could argue the parent is creating that behaviour in the child.
I don’t know. I just know it would be nice to have a nap with my little one (maybe some day).
Hello Ashley – I know it’s a big thing in the West, but in India we almost always sleep with the baby on the same bed…I did the same with my lil one and still do so…it’s an amazing feeling …
we’re about 6 weeks into parenthood through adoption. our baby slept in her crib for the first 3 weeks and then decided sleeping with mama and/or papa (we have a grown up sleep sanctuary) is best.
we couldn’t be happier. she sleeps longer when she’s with us and we’re continuing to bond with our cutie even when she’s sleeping.
before we brought her home we had people warning us against co-sleeping because we’d “never get her out of our bed” – really? i’m pretty sure she’d going to get sick of us at some point.
thanks for sharing.
I did the same thing with Eisley for almost two months, and I cherish those memories of waking up with her tiny body on my chest. You’re right; there’s something about maternal instinct. Even though I’m a side-sleeper who likes to sleep curled up on one side or the other, I’d stay on my back the whole night whenever she was sleeping on me. Kind of crazy how that works.
I know there are dangers, but it worked for us and I’m thankful for the time I got to do some extra snuggling with a little newborn. I never saw myself as someone who would embrace cosleeping, but I totally “get it” now!
We could never regret those cozy moments with our little ones. (Also, in the beginning, when they are eating ALL THE LIVE-LONG NIGHT, it’s so much easier, right?)
I also want to add that for a working mom, those nights sleeping with my baby provides a connection that I know I would miss otherwise. Meredith is four months right now, and I don’t even want to think about putting her in a crib at night. What made you transition Gabe? Because I think I might keep Meredith with me until we have another baby.
Thank you so much for sharing this. I was one of those people who would have NEVER imagined that I would cosleep with my baby. I hadn’t really even heard much about it. But Evie is the same as Gabe was. We have her in the bassinet next to our bed, so it is similar to a cosleeper. But very ften she cries unless I just pull her up next to me. This started right when we brought her home, and now she is getting better about sleeping in the crib (for naps during the day) and the bassinet at night, but for the most part she is still sleeping next to me. And I must admit, at first I felt so bad about it. I didn’t tell anyone because I didn’t want them to judge me. But I have an AMAZING pediatrician who told me it was completely fine for our family, considering she was sleeping next to me on the outside of the bed, and I was breastfeeding throughout the night. Now, I often look forward to our snuggle time. :) I definitely want to transition her fairly soon, but I’m not sure when the time will be right.
i am vietnamese and in my culture bed sharing is the norm. i was a single mother with my first child and i was bed sharing with her with no problems..i dont move around much when sleeping and i wake easily and am not a deep sleeper..we had such peaceful nights and no fussiness and baby slept well and woke up happy. before she fell asleep i would lay in bed with my baby girl and watch tv or talk on the phone or listen to music this was very helpful since she would fall asleep during the noise (not too loud though) and would never get startled. what works for me is the tv on sleep mode or the cd that played music would end so it wasnt playing all night to where i wouldnt hear her wake or cry.
It’s definitely hard sharing a bed with my baby… because my husband is worried that she’s in danger. But I don’t move in my sleep and she sleeps so much better snuggled against me and I do too. I’m so glad that there are other mommas out there who snuggle sleep. I gave in and put Haley to sleep in the cradle 2 feet from our bed one night. She slept ok-sih but the next day she was fussy and didn’t nap well and wanted to be held all day. I can definitely tell the difference snuggle sleeping makes! She came back to our bed that night and slept all the way thru the night (she’s only 2 months) and woke up with a smile the next day. I don’t care what strangers say….snuggle sleeping is best for me and my baby.