Right before we left for Puerto Rico, Mike told me he wished we were staying home for Christmas break instead. That he didn’t feel like traveling and doing stuff and seeing things, but instead just hanging out at home and maybe watching some movies and working. “I just really love to work.” I agreed. It would be nice to spend two weeks catching up on life instead of getting further behind.
Crazy, right? Right? Who wishes away their tropical vacation as they’re leaving for it? Obviously, we went. It’s not that we didn’t really want to go, it’s just that, well, most things worth doing are a bit of a hassle. Like every time I travel, though, the amount that I gained far outweighs the challenges of going.
Travel is a process of self-discovery. It’s strange, because it could just be a process of stress and travel delays and sightseeing. But, no. I really do believe that it is in traveling that I learn more about myself , about the world and northern lights.
I rekindled me.
This seems to always happen when I travel – whether alone or with my family or with friends – when I’m removed from everything that is familiar and part of my life, it’s like part of me is awakened. The part that craves adventure and being outside of my comfort zone. It’s exciting. I feel exciting. It’s new and different. It’s…sort of an Eat, Pray, Love situation except my husband and son are with me.
I feel a clarity about who I am and what I want when I am away from it all.
I reconnected.
I felt like I got to spend more time with these two in eight days than I have in months. I feel like I know them better than ever, in an odd way.
TOMS make fantastic travel shoes.
We walked several miles a day. I wore my Teva flip flops for the first few days, but my legs and feet were killing me, so I switched over to my TOMS. I was worried that they’d be too hot and get stinky, but they were fantastic – great support and lightweight enough to not be hot.
Don’t be captive to your fear: take risks.
This is the biggest takeaway I have. I am a worrier. A BIG worrier. I worry about how Gabe will do on the airplane. I get nervous about going into a restaurant I see on the side of the road – what if no one speaks English? What if there is nothing without meat? What if it’s crazy expensive? What if they hate children? (You might say I am unreasonable. That would be fair.)
I fretted over a lot of things and nothing bad happened. Nearly every restaurant we impulsively ventured into turned out to be fantastic. Gabe did incredibly well on the airplane, sleeping, and just having his days upended.
I can do this in little ways at home – we just broke out of our usual-restaurants-rut to try a sushi restaurant here in town for the first time (it was amazing) and when I was fussing over whether we should get the tempura banana dessert or not (“What if it takes a long time and Gabe loses his patience and bugs everyone around us?” I worried to Mike), I realized I was being silly and would regret not getting it to see if it was as good as I imagined (it was quite tasty.)
Fears are usually worse than the reality. So, just do it. You’ll regret not doing it. And if it goes wrong, you’ll have a good story to tell. (Like how we survived an unexpected eight-hour layover at the airport on the way to Puerto Rico).
Related…
Go down the slide.
Don’t worry if your bottom is going to jiggle as you walk up, don’t worry if your top is going to fall down when you land in the water, don’t worry. Just do it. (And Gabe will love it. Yes, cautious little Gabe loved the water slide.)
Venture outside the resort/off the beaten trail
Whether it’s a beach where there are no other tourists, a botanical garden that is empty, or a tiny hole-in-the-wall restaurant, adventures like these are what vacation memories are made of.
Haphazard adventures are okay, too.
Sometimes things don’t go as planned. Sometimes they’ll flop or you’ll end up driving around a seedy part of town or no one will speak English – but even that will be something you remember and laugh about for years to come. Mike wanted to go to a university (we love to visit campuses when we travel) and there was one only 20 minutes away. The guard at the gate spoke absolutely no English and we speak exactly three words of Spanish. I’m still not sure what he said, but he let us in. Nothing on the campus was open and we couldn’t even drive around without encountering more guard and gates and probably stumbling over our pathetic Spanish.
So we left. And found the botanical gardens instead. (Which was empty except for a very old man who asked me if Gabe hablo ingles.)
When we went to the rainforest, it started pouring. We were stuck in the visitor center for a long time, disappointed that we’d miss out on seeing the rainforest. However, it turns out the post-downpour rainforest is pretty darn spectacular:
Vacations are too short to worry about schedules.
Gabe was probably missing his “normal” nap time during these:
And when we stayed up late to go on the night tour of the lagoon? He got to see frogs and lizards and a lighthouse and visit the ocean in the dark. I’m so glad I didn’t let Gabe’s normal bedtime and nap time dictate what we did – he would have missed out on so much!
Always order more coffee
(or ice cream or nachos or beer or sangria or whatever your favorite is)
Every time we spy a coffee shop, we want to go in and try it out. And so, we did.
Related – you should buy all the Puerto Rican candy you find and make pina coladas every night. It just means you’re immersing yourself in the culture.
Improvise.
Sometimes it’s better than the original. 
We wrapped Gabe’s Christmas morning gifts (a book and two matchbox cars) in maps we’d been using during our trip. Turns out maps make some fantastic wrapping paper. Without cream for my coffee, I added some vanilla ice cream to a steaming bowl (no mugs at our rental) of coffee – amazing. When I got home, I took the pumpkin spice ice cream from our freezer and added it to my morning cup of coffee.
It’s worth it.
This is worth it.
YES. THIS. ALL THIS.
With J’s schedule we have little to no time as a family. During residency we did a staycation ONCE. It was filled with house repairs, grocery shopping, email checking, oil changes. It was terrible and draining and disappointing. And we will never, ever do it again.
We don’t have a lot of money – but the little money have have we save for travel. We’ve been taking a trip to HHI every spring, before the rush. It was a leap of faith because everyone told is it was wicked expensive. It was calm, and beautiful. We rented bikes for $30 a week for our family, found early bird (aka toddler mealtime) dinner specials and it is our happy place. We go back every year now. The moment we drive onto the island it’s like our family is connected again. I crave that connectedness all year long.
So glad you found yours. <3
Thank you for sharing your trip with us! It looks gorgeous. And that is my favorite turron – I just realized we didn’t have any this Christmas or New Years which is unusual (K is Cuban). Btw, I love the shot of Mike and Gabe beyond the archway.
Throw (nap) schedules out the window – ain’t that the truth! But, it’s not just about the little people. When big people throw their normal routines out the window, vacations blossom. Putting down the phone, saying “no” to the internet. Picking up a book. People watching during an extra long lunch. Eating at new restaurants and indulging in new kinds of food. Going zip-lining or trying to surf. Exploring where the locals shop, rather than where the tourists gather. There are so many ways to open your eyes, your heart and your mind if you just let go of your normal. Might not be so bad if we let that idea bleed into our everyday lives, too.
I *love* Puerto Rico. It looks like y’all had an amazing trip.
Such beautiful pictures, and awesome lessons :) I learned that same thing about TOMS. I’m pretty sure I wore those throughout our entire two weeks in Costa Rica, unless I was wearing flip flops on my way to the beach :) Also, I’ve been swearing up and down I’ll get back to Costa Rica some day, and I’m sure I will, but I think exploring Puerto Rico may have to happen first. I’ve only ever heard amazing things.
I always have similar realizations on vacation and I think it’s because I take time to actually relax (if I’m home on vacation, I feel the need to clean or organize something) and try and see new things. I love traveling because of this. Your photos are beautiful. I went to Puerto Rico when I was younger with my family and I can now see we missed out on a lot because we didn’t really leave the resort haha.
Also, I love seeing universities wherever I go. I usually buy a sweatshirt or something so I have a LOT of shirts from colleges I did not attend. Ha.
i loved this :) i will say tho, that “throwing out nap schedules” depends on the kid – one of mine is very flexible and another is very “ohemgee hes a gremlin” if he’s missing naps/going to bed too late. pry b/c he doesn’t sleep in. sigh. i miss my flexible sleeper!
we’ve had nice staycations, mostly b/c we’re lazy so when we hang out at home, we really do just hang out. my issue is *turning off the computer* so getting away really helps.
also, now i’m dying to go to PR :)
Oh, Gabe is a bear without his usual amount of sleep if we’re at home! For some reason when we are traveling or away from home, he handles it much better. Maybe because there are always people to charm and sights to see? :)
Ashley,
I have been following your blog via Pinterest link and you have given me inspiration! We are a family of three bringing in my partner of one year who is a full time student to our 1000+sq ft apt. in Portland, Or. We have been working on budgeting, space making since I have an 11 yr old son and 7 yr old daughter who currently share a room, and finding fun in daily life without all the worries.
Currently working on a “false wall” project for their room to give them privacy and identity. So, thanks for sharing. I really like to read your plans & ideas:) Amissa
I’m definitely going to keep this in mind while traveling with Ruby this summer especially in regards to naps. She’s a stickler for bedtime, but a missed nap or two probably won’t kill anyone.
Also, good to know about Toms. I think I just need to try some one. I’ve always worried they wouldn’t have enough support.
They actually have good support, but can get stinky if you sweat a lot in them! They also haven’t lasted very long – already fraying and I got them in October. But, eh, I haven’t found more comfortable shoes that are sorta-kinda work appropriate.
Awesome photos!
I am a nervous worrier myself- I get it! I worry the hotel will suck even after all the research or someone will get hangry if we don’t find a good place to eat. I end up stressing alot before a trip but in the end I wonder what the heck I was even worried about because everything is usually fine.
I’m so beyond in love with this post! You so right about it all.. vacations are SO important to take time away from your day-to-day routines. Throw caution to the wind, go on an adventure, learn more about yourself, make some memories and grow closer to the ones you love. LOVE IT:)
I’m so glad to hear you had such an amazing experience on your trip! Reconnecting with loved ones is the best thing ever! I completely agree that when life gets frazzled, it’s so helpful to take a trip and get away. I don’t do this often of course, but when I do, it really lets me find my center again! Puerto Rico looks so beautiful! If you go back again, I can teach you some Spanish! :)
Gorgeous photos! I’m glad to hear you had a great time and got a lot out of your trip. :)
I love this post, it’s SO true- traveling is such a great way to re-discover so many things about yourself and those you love. I had similar feelings after traveling all summer. I also came to the conclusion that TOMS are excellent travel shoes. I had the same pair for Florida, Brazil and all of Europe (they lasted Feb-Sept!) and it was really hard getting a new pair and saying goodbye to those. But they are literally ALL I WORE and I walked 3 separate continents in them. Awesome.
Also, I looooooooove that picture of the three of you. It seriously warmed my heart!
This post totally speaks to my wanderlust, adventure loving, soul. I wish we had the money to travel, I really do. There is SO MUCH TO SEE. But if I’m honest, you don’t need money to explore. There are cities, places, events right here in Utah – not even an hour away – that we can experience and this year I plan on doing just that. <3 You inspire me SO MUCH.
What a great post Ashley! Ben and I are thinking about taking a big international trip (our first together) around our anniversary this year and I feel like this post reassures a lot of the fears I have!
This post made me feel EXTRA excited for my own tropical vacation (Mexico!) in just over a month. We considered doing PR or Costa Rica but the all-inclusive was way too tempting. Especially since it’s REALLY difficult for me to stop being totally cheap and frugal, even on vacation! I always feel rekindled and refreshed after traveling too. Glad it was such a wonderful family trip for you guys.
Such great travel wisdom AND everyday life wisdom :) But I must know — what is the local sushi restaurant!? We’re always looking for a new sushi joint! My current fave is Kasai in Wadsworth (kinda far… but SO yummy).
Hi… I came across your blog when searching for toddler vacations in Puerto Rico. What hotel did you stay in? I’m looking for a place for my family. We have a daughter who is 21 months but we don’t want a huge hotel or one that is too busy. Thanks!
Hi! How exciting!
I wrote about where we stayed here: https://www.ourlittleapartment.com/2013/01/where-to-stay-what-to-eat-in-puerto-rico-part-one/
Beautiful Pictures I love Puerto Rico Last time i was there it was just a memorable trip amazing.
I rarely comment, but your straight thoughts hit me as true. I have traveled in the Caribbean, Europe and South America two or three times a year (in addition to some business travel) for over 25 years. Yet I find myself a little apprehensive and often wishing just before departure I had not planned the trip. Yet every trip, in spite of me(!) has turned-out well – often spectacular. The outcome is that usually I am amazed at how great each trip actually turns out. So your words really sounded a sympathetic chord with me. Keep up the writing and blogging as I am sure many others find your work as compelling and reassuring as I.
Hi,
I went through this article because I was curious of tourist’s point of view of my island.hahaha! I’m glad you enjoyed visiting “Mi isla del Encanto”. Also, don’t worry about people not speaking English. Most of us are billingual and are eager to help you if you ask politely. :)
Hey Ashley! I’m taking a siblings vacation to PR this weekend. It will be my first time there, even though both my parents descend from the island. I hear the crime rate is high. Did you ever feel unsafe during your trip?
Thanks a lot for sharing this post.I think Puerto Rico is a great place to visit on holidays.