Uh, yep.
Have you heard about the New York Times bestseller The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up? It’s gotten rave reviews from all over the place and I had to wait on a long list at the library before getting it. So, with great anticipation, I picked up the book (and the audiobook) and expected to be inspired to action!
Well, not so much.
I’m not one to review books or talk about why I don’t like something (let’s focus on the positive! *brandishes pom poms*), but Mike grew tired of me talking about it to him and suggested I write a blog post about it. So, here I am. Focusing on why I didn’t get inspired by the book in case you also read it thinking, “Uh, why is this book so popular?”
First, let’s discuss the positive:
The good stuff
Does it bring you joy? If not, toss it. Every cleaning and decluttering book has the idea that getting rid of excess/clutter/what you don’t use will make your life better because what you have left is what you truly use and enjoy. This question is perhaps the best takeaway from the book. Other questions I use to decide when decluttering are “Do I use and need this?,” “Is this useful or beautiful?,” or “Would I replace this if I lost it?”
Everything needs a home and it needs to be easy to put away. “Clutter only has two possible causes: too much effort is required to put it away or it is unclear where things belong.” The author did make me think about the process of putting things away and how clutter happens. The only thing I’d add to her quote is that there’s another possible cause of clutter: CHILDREN.
Now, on to the negativity!
The bad stuff
It’s not relatable. The author, Marie Kondo, has been obsessed with cleaning and organizing since age 5. She does not have kids. She got hospitalized from over-tidying. WHAT. No. This is not someone who can relate to what it’s like to not be naturally tidy and neat. I’m sure she’s a perfectly nice person, but when she recommends putting your sponge to dry on the veranda and taking your items out of your purse at the end of every day, I…realize she’s someone who loves to tidy, not someone who struggles to, like I do.
It makes ultimatums and promises. She promises you’ll never have to declutter again. She promises this is the One True Way to achieve a neat and tidy home. Any time someone says something is the ONE WAY to achieve a goal, my BS meter starts pinging. And as far as never having to declutter again, there’s simply no way. Even if you set some hardcore boundaries about what can and cannot enter your home, you will gradually accumulate more and more (especially if you have kids!) Also, speaking of promises: if you clean your clutter, you’ll have better skin. She actually says this.
It’s not useful. Instead of giving tons of practical, actionable advice, she spends pages upon pages belaboring her points about how to fold clothing. Hanging clothes is not good, you must fold them if you want to truly to do it right. Also, roll your socks from the toe to the top gently instead of balling them up. And thank them for their hard work. Again with the One True Way business.
It’s super popular. If makes me sad that this decluttering book is the one that has gotten the attention of…well, everyone. There are so many more useful and life-changing (see what I did there?) books!
Instead, read The Joy of Less. Read Organized Simplicity. They are both in a similar vein, but so much more useful and actionable. (You can read how The Joy of Less changed my life here.)
If you liked this book – hooray! The best tool is the one you use. If it made you take charge over your clutter and mess – woohoo! But if you didn’t enjoy it (aside from it being hilarious and bizarre), definitely try another one. I’d hate to see someone give up on decluttering or simplifying because this book didn’t resonate with them. If you’re not a naturally neat person and starting out on this journey, might I also suggest A Slob Comes Clean? She also has a great podcast!
Agree 100%, I HATED most of the book. I found the author unlikable and infomercial-y. A Slob Comes Clean is SO much more relatable and has actually made a huge difference in my house. I need to check out The Joy of Less!
Ha! I posted about this book today too – and mentioned your Goodreads review. I really want to read/listen to this book just to hear her talk about thanking her socks.
You had me (lost me?) at folding clothes. Eff that. I’ll stick with The Joy of Less. Thank you for the honest review.
Thanks for your review. Reading your review and the Amazon reviews of this book confirm that it’s probably just not for me. I have been on the list at my local library for a while, and I think I’m going to take myself off. I have such limited time available to read, I don’t want to waste time on something that I just can’t relate to. Hooray for decluttering my mental bookshelf!
Oh I loved this book! Loved the “spark joy” question and was able to skim over the sock-thankfulness stuff as just part of her individual (quirky?) personality. We moved this weekend, and pulling everything back out of boxes and having the spark joy question in my head is extremely helpful. Her book motivated me to be a bit more ruthless then I currently am, and I needed the motivation.
All that being said, I am with you on the children thing. And I still will not lay my sponge out on the veranda.
If I could have skimmed, I think I might have been less annoyed! ;) (I was listening for most of it, wasn’t sure how much to skim!)
It’s always good to get a spark of motivation and inspiration! (And moving can do that for you *shudder*)
Maybe it’s a byproduct of having experimented with nine million decluttering projects, but I really enjoyed this and was able to skim over a lot of the parts that don’t make sense for my life, which made it less bothersome to me. I’ll continue to ball my socks, for the record, and most of my clothing will be hung because if I can’t see it, I too-easily forget it exists (whether I have 33 items or 333). I don’t and won’t empty my purse every night, but I often bring things home in my work tote and forget about them (fork or paperwork) and at least going THROUGH everything when I get home (like the child’s backpack with the permission slip) is a great idea. I also thought, like you, that the two simple rules: “does it spark joy” and “where does it live” are key and reinforce my adopted decluttering mantra (William Morris’ “Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.”) Finally, while I won’t thank my socks on a daily basis, I do like the idea of saying goodbye to those tricky clothing or household items that you like in theory but not in practice. “Thank you for teaching me about what DOES work,” and sending it off to a happier home. I think acknowledging that SOMETHING positive came out of the transaction will make it easier to let go!
Yes! I am team hanging for that reason, too. It will get lost in the abyss!
And I’m also with you on a million decluttering projects. If decluttering could be a hobby, I’d like to sign up. ;)
I love the PROJECTS! Some things work better than others, and I do agree with Marie and other organizers that ultimately, you have to get rid of what doesn’t fit for any system to ultimately work. I also feel like I need to disclose that my house is a wreck right now. We’re in the process of buying a larger home, and with the twins stuff taking over (still a few months to go yet…I hope!), there is no more “away” room for anything! It’s crazy right now! And that’s BEFORE they are here to untidy. :)
Oh, same. It’s a hobby, but I’m not a professional yet. ;) Just like you can like running and not be fast! (Also me, ha)
Yes! I miss (slow) running.
I am so fascinated by this. I had it on my “To Read” list for the last few weeks, and honestly, I may still read it when it’s not quite so popular. That being said, I am checking out your other recommendations. I am one who has a love/hate relationship with clutter. I am not a “blank surfaces everywhere!” type, nor do I want to aspire to that. I feel like loved objects make me feel at home, and if some people call that clutter they don’t have to live with me. I also in many ways have to have certain things in a certain way (my spices are alphabetized, for example, so I always know where the white pepper is and where the bay leaves are), and I color-code my closet with all shirts hanging the same direction on the same type of hanger.
Also, I don’t have kids. And I realize that makes an ENORMOUS GI-HUGIC DIFFERENCE! in how one lives in a home. So, thank you for this, and for the recommendations. :)
xox
I love to read and listen to podcasts about decluttering… and then have no time to actually do it, but anyways. This does not sound like one I would enjoy. I don’t even understand what you said about socks… and IN THE HOSPITAL FOR OVER TIDYING? WHAT?
Just, no.
HOSPITALIZED FOR OVER-TIDYING.
WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING RIGHT NOW.
I read the book and some parts of it made a lot of sense, but I didn’t see the point of emptying your entire bag every time you come in the door. And what was with “greeting your house” or whatever? A lot of it was too “out there” for me to relate to! “Your shirts will tell you if they prefer to be folded or hung …” Puh-lease. Have you read “Clutterfree With Kids” by Joshua S. Becker? I haven’t read it yet but I heard it’s good!
Oh my gosh! Thank you for reminding me about that part where the shirts tell you! Ha.
Someone else was talking about this book on Twitter and mentioned the sock thing and I was like…..*crickets*. I mean, what? WHAT? No.
RIGHT? And you’re like a neat freak (right?) and YOU think it’s crazy. ;)
I’m supposed to thank my socks for their hard work? I mean maybe in some silly tv show that would be a thing, but in real life? I just consider them functional.
Also, why would I take everything out of my purse at the end of everyday? Any time I’ve done something remotely similar to that, I leave without my wallet/ID/epi-pens/something I really need to have inevitably when I get to where I’m going.
I think decluttering is going to be a thing for us for a long time, but I’m starting to decide that there are things I’m holding onto (ahem, sheer curtains for some reason even though I don’t like them but maybe will use someday?) that I can just toss and be ok with it. I have a stack of bags in the garage for goodwill and am selling stuff on CL and swap sites and it feels good to get rid of things that we just don’t use.
Funny…. I wanted to like the book. It was such a lovely little hardcover. I like little books I can stash in my purse. I wanted so to love it. But she was kind of weird. I kept flipping the book over to look at her photo because she seemed very unbelievable. She’s been tidying since 5 years old? Reading house and garden magazines?
Plus she was all about basically throwing out everything. That was my takeaway.
And you’re right: she’s single and no kids. Do you know how PRISTINE my apartment was when I was single with no kids? My husband used to say to me “remember how clean your apartment always was?” and I would be like “…your point is?”
I have been seeing everyone RAVE about this book but also kind of got the vibe that it might not be for me. Folding shirts and putting them in a drawer, I get. Having to fold them a specific way, I don’t get.
And now single and no kids? Sheesh. I usually avoid the “if you don’t have kids, you don’t understand” line because it’s so often unfair, but when it comes to cleaning and organizing…if you don’t have kids, you probably DON’T understand. As much as I might want to keep things perfectly orderly, my husband and 2-year-old can’t always be forced to go along with that.
I may still read it, but I appreciate your review!
Hello
Even though I did not agree or follow all the advices in the book, it actually really helped me to declutter a bit (a lot) further then the joy of less (which I adored also). I liked especially the ‘spark of joy’ concept and the fact to declutter by category of items and not by room. That way I managed to declutter quite a bit more and feel quite satisfied my amount of ‘stuff” for the moment.
Isa (from Belgium)
Hello
Even though I did not agree or follow all the advices in the book, it actually really helped me to declutter a bit (a lot) further then the joy of less (which I adored also). I liked especially the ‘spark of joy’ concept and the fact to declutter by category of items and not by room. That way I managed to declutter quite a bit more and feel quite satisfied with my amount of ‘stuff” for the moment.
Isa (from Belgium)
I have this book on my Amazon wish list and I’m glad I read this review. I have read the Joy of Less and I liked it, but everyone has been reeling over this so I thought I’d read it, but frankly….There is a lot in my house that doesn’t exactly SPARK JOY. My pants, underwear, file cabinet, etc etc etc. :) It just seems silly to me.
And it’s good knowing she doesn’t have kids and has no idea how hard it is to keep a home orderly with a toddler in hand.
I am so glad to hear someone else did not like Life Changing Art. To me, it was definitely a book by a single person who lived alone.
I feel like a Scrooge not liking it – glad it’s resonated with so many people! But also glad when I hear I’m not alone in NOT loving it. ;)
THANK YOU!! I am so tired of hearing people go on and on about how wonderful this book is! It is an incredibly unrealistic way of life and being that she’s single with NO kids, (at the time she wrote it) she is not a realistic authority on this subject. Dumping your purse out every single day is the silliest thing I’ve ever heard…what a waste of time! I’m not saying she doesn’t have some good, effective ideas, I’m saying she is not one to tell families with children that her way is the only way to keep a house clean. Was she really hospitalized?!? Oh my, that’s just nuts.
Well, I actually liked her book and found it somewhat helpful, but also troublesome. I loved how original and yes, quirky, it was! At the same time, some of her advice would not work for me. For example, my biggest issue with purging my closet is holding on to items I love, but just won’t wear because I have nowhere to wear them. I like having them and I like looking at them. Similarly, the most colorful make up is the one that “looks joyful” on my shelf, but there is no way I will ever use it. According to the principles of Marie Kondo, I should probably keep those items. However, I need to admit that this book gave me a wonderful kick to purge things from my closet that were really meh, but it seemed like it made sense to have them around.
That is such a good point! Some things bring me no joy, but I need to have them practically. Like diapers for my baby. ;)
Ugh, read the book, all my tops on the floor and I am hear on the internet looking for reasons why not to do this. I love the idea of decluttering/purging and organizing everything in a similar place. It just seems unrealistic in so many ways. I have bras that don’t spark joy, yet I need once in awhile to fit under that top. And I have paint clothes that don’t spark joy, yet I need from time to time. It seems like an obsessive compulsive type of personality is needed and that’s not me. Also, doing laundry and folding her way might take me a week…hmmm…what to do, back to my pile in the bedroom of all my tops! Wish me luck!
I finally got around to reading Marie Kondo’s book – not because I have a clutter problem (I am pretty organized, though I have more shoes, clothes, and fabric than I need – though it is in no way overwhelming), but because I wanted to see what all the fuss had been about.
Kondo definitely has OCD, and spreading or celebrating that obsession isn’t necessarily doing any favors to people.
She stumbled on a formula that people emotionally respond to – “Does it spark joy?”
It’s an incomplete/imperfect criteria, but it seems to help people who have difficulty discarding things and making decisions.
This book was clearly not for those who are inherently organized, and the word “tidying” is a misnomer – what she is prescribing is PURGING. And for some people that is good. However, there is no “one way” to declutter/streamline, and doing it the way someone with clear OCD does it – is probably not good in the long run. It’s extreme. She actually states you can have a “perfect” house. Therein lies the problem, and the true disorder (ironically).
Our living spaces should be functional, and attractive and welcoming and comforting to us. But if they are actually LIVED IN – with friends, family, and kids! – and cooking and creative endeavors and play – they will not be “perfect.” And we should not want them to be!
Perfectionism is actually a problem, not a virtue. But many see it as something desirable.
Ms. Kondo makes a lot of absolute, bold (and frankly impossible) claims. She says no one who uses her method has ever “rebounded.” She means relapse. (These poor translations/misuse of words bothers me more than a few magazines left out on a coffee table, btw!). But her claim is patently an overreach. When she is helping someone purge, it is likely the accumulation of decades, if not a lifetime! She talks about a lot of clients being in their 50s (like me).
So, if those people don’t change their acquisition habits, their spaces will probably become cluttered again in 5-10 years. Some people will stop acquiring as a result of her method – as a by-product, realizing it is fruitless to spend money just to throw the item out later. But many will still keep buying and bringing home things that “spark joy” in the moment. There is no way that many of her clients will not need to purge, either periodically, or after another decade or so, to maintain their clutter-free lives.
The best takeaways from Kondo are to revisit much or all of what you have, and think about each item (whether the criteria is “Does it spark joy’ Or “Does this serve my goals?” etc , and discard what doesn’t serve you. And have a place for storing what you want to store. Whether you do the discarding all in a giant pile on the floor at once, or bit by bit, is pretty much irrelevant, if you are committed to the process. The other good takeaway is NOT to be Kondo. We don’t need to spend our lives obsessing, and trying to be perfect. If your house is functional and you are comfortable and content in it, even if you have a bit more than you need – you DON’T NEED TO CHANGE IT.
I am sure Kondo believes she is doing a service to everyone, but her ultimatums and absolute rules are actually a feature of her OCD rigidity. Plus the Shinto-like animism that she employs – treating objects as if they have spirits, feelings – is not only kooky to most people, but actually belies her unhealthy attachment/relationship to objects (and thus her lifelong obsession with them).
I think the way to benefit from Kondo is, like many prescriptions for life, take what you like and leave the rest.
Thank you for sharing! I thought I was on my own not being impressed by the Kondo way.